It’s amazing how I am such an open book, but there are still some things I am too embarrassed to talk about. There are things that I will share without even thinking about it. There are also things that I will only talk about if the subject comes up and it really doesn’t matter who is around at the time. Its just one of those things that kind of comes out if I am being led to share to help someone else through or relate to someone. Then there are those things that I keep quiet about because honestly I don’t know why some things happen, why others allow it to happen, and furthermore why God allows it to happen. Those are the things that are hard to forgive. Now I am Not questioning God when I say this, I am simply saying that there are some things that has happened that I can’t even begin to elaborate or even be as transparent as I am today.
Have you ever thought about what those things are in your life? Is it okay to leave this earth knowing that some things are just too shameful to talk about? Even if you weren’t the one who did the acts, but the one that the acts were done to. Have you ever been in a situation that happened so fast that when you have more time to digest it, you wished you have handled it much differently? Well I sure have. Those who know me best knows I am very outspoken and although I am very loving, I am also one to say how I feel. This is ultimately my way of avoiding misunderstandings and conflict. I would very much rather tell you in the beginning and upset you, than to upset and hurt you later after it comes out in anger. This is my way of showing my love and respect for other people. I truly wish everyone would communicate this way, but then I remember that God made us all differently for a reason and it’s ok that everyone is not as up front as I am. For me this is when forgiveness comes in.
Matthew 6:14-15 says, “ 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do, but one of the most gratifying for me. When they say that forgiveness is for you and not the other person this couldn’t be more accurate. I think we forget that we are imperfect as well and there has been and will be times when we will have to ask for forgiveness from someone as well. My question is, How do you know if you have truly forgiven a person? Are you supposed to never give it another thought? Or is it all in how you treat that person who has wronged you? What do you do when you are not sure? You know that you can still help this person and hold a conversation, but is it wrong to never want anything more from than that from them? What does forgiveness look like for you?
~Conniea P